


into the hat

by youngerdrgrey



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 11:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/442770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/youngerdrgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of interconnected drabbles. Emma can't let Jefferson go and searches for him instead of going to the arraignment. Mad Swan. AU after "Hat Trick"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. into the hat

She can't ignore the fact that he's the first one to make her believe. Even for a second. And, gosh, she's wanted it to be true before, but now she needs it to. She needs the stories to be real because this guy - Jefferson - has a little girl out there and, if a parent wants to be with his kid, he damn sure should be able to.

Emma doesn't tell anyone, but she spends the hours after the arraignment searching for Jefferson. She scours his place, holding the stupid hat in one hand and Henry's book in the other. More than once, she finds herself looking into it, wondering if maybe, just maybe, she got it to work. But what does that mean? That he's gone off into this other world where he and his daughter get to live happily ever after? If so, then why is Paige still at school with Henry? Seriously, where the hell is this guy?

Emma tosses the hat down in his giant hat room. It bounces and spins. She glances away to the wall and back to the hat. It's still spinning. And spinning. And spinning. Slowly, it rises from the ground, a swirling pool of purple emptiness opening up beneath it. She scrambles back, her hand flying instinctively to her hip to the gun that waits there. But what is she going to shoot? The ground? Yeah, that'll work. She flips quickly through Henry's book and finds more on Jefferson - the Madhatter. The book says that when the hat spins, a portal opens that can take people to any world they choose. The hat has a rule, the same number of people go in as they go out. So if one goes in, one goes out. So if she goes in - Emma shakes the thought away. She's not jumping into some giant hole in the ground. Especially not for some guy she just met. That's crazy. She'll just drop something down there. That'll prove that her eyes are just playing tricks on her. She grabs the closest thing - a pen - and tosses it towards the swirling hole. It disappears instantly. She waits but she never hears it stop. She steps forward to peer inside. Just one step, but that's apparently all it takes for the hole to swallow her up. She screams out, but it swallows that too. Next thing Emma knows, she's landing in a sturdy pair of arms.

She glances up startled and meets an increasingly familiar pair of eyes. They sparkle with a hope that kind of makes the whole falling thing okay. Especially when Jefferson says in a voice filled with admiration, "You made it work."

She doesn't know what else to say so she nods. A weak smile forms on her face. "Yeah, I guess I did."


	2. but never through the looking glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma asks Jefferson about his wife

They're lying together in a field of some kind of flowers. This weird kind that doesn't have a smell but a taste that makes Emma's mouth water and her mind explode. She blames them for her need for answers, for more. She's opened her eyes, and now she can't quite get enough of what she sees. It's why this is their third world today. One after another, but never the looking glass, never Wonderland. Maybe it's that fact that prompts her to say "So… your wife…?"

Jefferson doesn't flinch at the mention. He merely says, "Alice."

Emma's eyebrow sky rockets. " _Alice_  Alice?" He gives her a look. She breathes out deeply, lets all of the shock leave her body in one big rush. "Wow, that was unexpected."

"Really? The internet tells me that at least some people expected it. We were - what did they call it - 'shipped.'" And Jefferson has that grimace he gets on his face when he thinks too much, when he remembers the twenty-eight years he spent in Storybrooke watching his daughter live without him, when he hates himself. He talks through it. "It was a long time ago, Emma. I don't want to talk about it."

"And what do you want to talk about?" she asks. He gives her a once over, and it's clear what he wants to talk about. He wants to talk about the way her hair pools around her like a halo and reflects back the perfect yellow sun above their heads. He wants to talk about the feelings she brings out in him, the ones he's long since forgotten yet can't wait to feel again. He wants to talk until the words don't matter and the only language is what their bodies say to each other. And she's used to that kind of talking. It's a deflection technique she knows well. So when he leans towards her, she says, "Only this once," before she kisses him. Next time, they really will talk because she wants answers. She wants knowledge, whether it be cursed or not. But for right now, she's fine with just wanting him.


	3. don't ask for permission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma tells Mary Margaret that she's kind of sort of dating Jefferson.

"He drugged you, Emma." That's the first thing that Mary Margaret has to say on the subject, and it's so shocked and judgmental that it makes Emma believe for a second. Friends don't use that tone of voice. Parents do. But Emma shakes that thought away with the same shrug that she uses as a response.

"I've dealt with worse," Emma says. Mary Margaret has another look for her then. It's one of those looks that begs for Emma to reevaluate her life and choices. Begs for Emma to listen and back away. Listening has never been her forte.

"You can't date this guy. You should actually be arresting him. He kidnapped me and tied me up in a room in his creepy little mansion. He kidnapped and drugged you and forced you to make a hat. He's crazy!"

Emma's eyes narrow. She replies, "The world is crazy, Mary Margaret. He's just doing what it takes to survive. I get that."

Mary Margaret scoffs. "Great. The sheriff of our town sympathizes with a… murderer!"

"You didn't have a problem when that murderer was you." Mary Margaret opens her mouth to object, but Emma has her own objection first. "And he hasn't killed anyone."

"Yet."

"Ever. And he won't. Jefferson just wants to be with his family. He just wants to be loved and love back. What's so wrong with that?"

The question says a lot more than it actually does. Holds more. Emma wants a family. She wants her parents and her son and someone to be there no matter what crazy shit life throws at them. She wants the perfect life, or even something close to perfect. Mary Margaret wants the same thing. It's obvious that she wants to be with David without harassment. It's all she wants. And when she went for that, she landed in trouble. She got caught up. But that didn't make her want, her choices, any worse than they were before. There's nothing wrong with trying to get what you want. With protecting those you love. That's the reason Emma's in Storybrooke. Is Mary Margaret really going to shoot that down?

Mary Margaret sighs, her back leaning further into the wall behind her. She whispers, "Nothing. There is nothing wrong with that." She glances up and meets Emma's gaze. There's a question there, but it's not aimed at Emma. Emma wonders if it's the same question she won't dare ask herself, if it's about them and the bond they're supposed to share. "J-just be careful, Emma. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Emma wants to respond with something sarcastic or elusive ('Yeah, thanks, Mom' or 'I'm the sheriff'), but she can't bring herself to say it. She can only nod. "I will," she says, and it's more than just a promise about her safety. It's a promise about their safety, about everyone's. She'll be careful, and she'll fix every problem in this town, starting with the little stuff and working up to the biggest problem of all, Regina. And she'll use Jefferson's plan to do it.


End file.
